Learn how to distinguish “WE-focused” writing (content that talks about your business) from “YOU-focused” writing (content that speaks to readers and addresses their needs). Take a simple test to see how your article or website page fares!

Watch out for WE-focused writing

A colleague asked for feedback on an article she wrote for a health organization. It was well written, the headline hummed the main theme, and, like a chorus, her theme resonated throughout. Applause!

But this article didn’t sing. In fact, it had a “we-zing” cold. The article focused on the organization, not the reader. In six paragraphs, the words we and ours appeared 18 times, while you and yours appeared only a few times.

I encouraged her to switch the focus to the reader. For example:

• WE-focused: As a Level II trauma center, we provide specialized care, and we can handle any emergency.
• YOU-focused: In an emergency, you can rely on the specialized care of our Level II trauma center.

Here’s another example, commonly found on the “About Us” page on a business website:

• WE-focused: We have provided reliable, award-winning products and services since 1999. Plus, we offer our customers 24×7 customer service.
• YOU-focused: Since 1999, customers like you have turned to us for reliable, award-winning products and services. Plus, if you need assistance, our 24×7 customer-service reps are always here for you.

Don’t rely on readers to connect the dots

Content that is WE-focused forces the reader to connect the dots: “Here’s what this business says it offers; now I need to determine if that meets my needs.” This may not seem too difficult, but guess what? Most readers don’t have time to connect the dots, which means they won’t immediately get your key message and may not act on your call-to-action.

Is your writing WE-focused or YOU-focused? Take this simple test to find out

1. Print one of your articles or website pages.
2. Circle the words we and ours in red, count them, and write down the number.
3. Circle the words you and yours in blue, count them, and write down the number.

How did you do? Ideally, you’ll have twice as many you’s and yours as the words we and ours. If you had more we’s and ours, your message is “we-zing.” Here’s the remedy: Rework sentences to shift the focus to the reader.

When you put the focus on your readers, they’ll instantly grasp your benefits without needing to puzzle out “how does this relate to me?” Your writing will sing a clear, compelling tune about what your business offers and the results readers can get.